Based loosely on this idea that @cemetrygatess put up for @free-ds9-fic-ideas.
—
(Julian barges into Garak’s shop.)
Julian: What the hell did you do?”
Garak: Good afternoon, doctor.
Julian: Don’t you ‘good afternoon’ me! What did you do to Sarina?
Garak: Whatever do you mean?”
Julian: She came to me half dead from poison.
Garak: Only half dead?
Julian: This is serious! She could have died!
Garak: My dear, you shouldn’t sell yourself so short.
Julian: Poison, Garak! You poisoned her.
Garak: On the contrary, I gave her a nice cup of tea after she came into my shop worried sick about seeing you again. If that tea made it so that she had to confront her fears a little sooner than she had planned, then all the better.
Julian: (bracing himself against the shop counter) You can’t go around poisoning my exes. We talked about this.
(Garak laughs.)
Garak: Oh, please, doctor, don’t ascribe to me the petty feelings of jealousy that you might feel upon meeting one of my former flames. A girl came into my shop with a problem and left with a solution. A quite simple solution, I might add, compared to the various plans that she was trying to concoct. Honestly, hanging around Quark’s like a lost pup. Attempting to barge into your quarters.
Julian: Our quarters.
Garak: Whoever’s quarters, doctor. The point of it is that she managed to face her fears and talk to you directly within a few hours of coming here.
Julian: Because you poisoned her.
Garak: With a poison that I knew you could treat.
Julian: And that made her throw up for a good half an hour.
Garak: A not entirely unforeseen bonus.
Julian: It was good to see her again. After the… well…
Garak: (leaning closer to him) You’re welcome.
Goddamn double helix twisty motherfucker…
—
(Sarina appears in the shop a few hours later.)
Sarina: Garak?
Garak: (appearing from the back room) Yes? Ah. Ms. Sarina. I trust you’re well now?
Sarina: I - I just want to say thank you. Did you manage to convince him it was poison?
Garak: I didn’t have to. He came in railing at me, throwing accusations left and right. You must have put on quite an impressive display.
Sarina: I did. Kind of.
Garak: Tell me. What exactly did you put in your tea?
Sarina: Ipecac, basically. It’s an old Earth root that ancient doctors used to make people throw up. Did… Did you get in a lot of trouble?
Garak: Not a bit. He expects this sort of thing from me by now. Part of the whole “Cardassian spy” allure, I imagine.
Sarina: Well, still… Thank you. I don’t think I would have come up with that on my own.
Garak: Come now. A bright girl like you? I grant that I may have come up with the option a little quicker than most, but you would have gotten there eventually.
Sarina: Or simply worked up the courage to talk to him vomit-free.
Garak: A distinct possibility, but one that didn’t seem terribly likely at the time.
Sarina: Yeah… Well, I hope you and Julian can be happy together. He seems better than when I last saw him. More settled. Happier.
Garak: Yes. Quite a strange attitude to have in the middle of a war.
Sarina: You know what I mean.
Garak: Yes, dear, I know what you mean.
Sarina: Well, I should go to my quarters. I have an early flight.
Garak: Do come by again if you’re on the station. Perhaps next time I can manage to actually poison you.
Sarina: (smiling) You wouldn’t do that.
Garak: Oh? And why not?
Sarina: Because you love Julian too much, and you know he doesn’t like seeing people in pain.
Garak: … Good night, Ms. Sarina.