garak’s day was like. a guy came into my shitty mall where i live with intent to kill somebody and i’m the person most likely to have a hit taken out on them in this place so i’ll just pre-empt him to get the alarm raised . now my doctor is giving me a stern lecture about the nature of habitual lies, which he knows is going to work because he knows more about me than anyone else in my life. five of my ex-coworkers have been assassinated, which i would ordinarily be happy to hear because they’re some fucked up guys and i sleep better at night knowing they can’t come fuck me up except, again, someone clearly is trying to take a hit out on me and anyone i used to know, and also everyone’s mad at me for faking a real assassination attempt and i have to field all their disappointed faces, like i care, and now my old mom’s on the phone saying my shitty spy father went on a hunting trip and hasn’t been home in a few days, and i know you’re still upset but will you please make sure he’s okay, and i love my old mom so sure, i was headed out there anyway i will check on dad since he surely has something to do with all this when does he not Have Something To Do With All This, and then when i get there of course it turns out my shitty spy dad was the one who took the hit out on me in the first place, and to prove to him that i’m still hardcore enough to not deserve to be assassinated i’m going to definitely have to go in this room and torture this guy until the torture starts to torture me, because this is the obsidian order and life is a fucking nightmare