“As Poe’s responsibilities have changed and he spends less time in an X-wing, he has asked his droid to keep the increasingly isolated Rey company.”
And of course BB-8 carries out his assignment with enthusiasm. His dad asked him to, and BB-8 trusts Rey completely.
And that’s also his mom.
1. AUGH MY HEART. He told BB-8 to watch out for Rey, not the other way around. I can’t even.
2. Can you even imagine that conversation though?
“Alright, BB-8, my mission shouldn’t be longer than a couple standard weeks. Be good while I’m gone–”
“I am always optimal.”
“–and keep Rey company, would ya? Lately she’s seemed…” Irritable? Distant? Half lost on her own island of books and training exercises and things only she could see and hear and sense? “…isolated.”
“Do you wish for me to transfer ownership to Designation: Friend Rey?”
“NO! No, nothing like that. It’s you and me ‘til the end, buddy–”
“Good, I concur.”
“–I just want to make sure she has a friend around, since Finn’s so busy now and I’m away on missions every other week.”
BB-8 perked up, as much as was physically possible for a metal sphere to perk. “I am an excellent friend to Designation: Friend Rey!”
“I knew I could count on you.”
“I will tell her about my new mission right away!” He was so excited, the little droid literally bounced a little in his eagerness to roll off and find Rey. This was already a mistake.
“Whoa whoa, it’s not like a mission-mission, okay? It’s just casual.” BB-8 tilted his receptor and rolled in a lazy circle to signal that he could be very casual indeed. “You’re just casually keeping an eye on Rey while she’s deep in her jedi… stuff.”
“Is this not a spy mission?”
“Nope, no spying. I mean, tell me if we should be worried about her. Kriff knows, she wouldn’t tell us if anything’s actually wrong. Make sure she still eats and sleeps sometimes… and what is Beaumont’s deal with her? Is he flirting, or is that just how he acts with everyone?”
BB-8 listens intently. This got away from him fast. Poe sighs.
“Never mind, forget it. Just keep her company. Don’t spy. Don’t tell her I told you to do anything. She would worry that I was worrying. And then she’d probably yell at me.”
“She only raises her voice in 11.3% of your interactions.”
“That, my friend, is exactly the kind of spying you won’t be doing. But thanks, that’s not as bad as I assumed.”
“I will start not-mission: Be Designation:Friend Rey’s Casual Friend and Do Not Spy now!” BB-8 chirped eagerly –too eagerly– and began to roll off in the direction of Rey’s favorite meditation spot, a few minutes’ walk from base.
“You’re still my droid!” Poe called after him. “Don’t start liking her more than me!”
“I am programmed to align my trust with my master’s, Designation: Master Poe! I only like her as much as my evidence indicates you like her!”
Kriff. “Definitely don’t tell her that either, buddy!”
