I’m at a funeral with my mom right now (a cousin she grew up with) and I swear if my uncle or grandmother open their mouths again imma fight them both in the funeral home parking lot.
“I mean, if a woman goes to a man’s room, she’s asking for it…:
“Okay uncle Tom first off fuck that. ”
In related news my uncle and grandmother are now mad at me and mom bought me dinner “thank you honey I wanted to yell but you beat me to it.”
My sister and her boyfriend left early after grandma asked them if the were still “living immoraly”
IF it had been me I would have politely stood up and reminded them the occasion was to honor someone they loved, not become a selfish soapbox for their excuses to hate other people and feel superior.
We’ve tried that. It doesn’t help. She goes instantly to playing the ‘poor frail old lady and how DARE people say these AWFUL THINGS to a poor sweet old lady who is JUST CONCERNED for the well being of her grandchildren WHO NEVER CALL.’
Grandma’s been consistently awful for seventy years. There’s a reason we don’t speak to her any longer unless we’re forced into contact at family events like this.
Uncle Tom inherited all his mother’s worst qualities.
Most of the reason I went with mom was to serve as emotional support because she knew they were gonna be there.
I mean. The easiest way around something like that, especially if you can cry on command, is to summon up some big ol’ tears, and say in the saddest, most quivery voice, that you stopped calling because ‘you never listen, Granma. It’s always about you and your problems.’
This would work but I can’t cry on command.
Maybe I should work on that….
That’s the beauty of it-you don’t have to actually cry. Just look like you’re about to. This world is programmed to give many shits when pretty women are unhappy, and sometimes we have to leverage that
@glumshoe has volunteered to follow me around with an onion for emergencies. Will begin work on my sad-trembling lip face immediately.
Also sometimes just making thr about-to-cry face will work. Or just let yourself get mad enough to cry, if that’s a thing that you do
Problem here is that when I get that mad, I don’t cry. I start threatening to “Throw down right here, you piece of shit, I will beat your ass, I swear to the fucking gods.” Or reaming my uncle for “I don’t care if you’re both halfway through fucking, if she says ‘wait, stop,’ you fcuking stop you absolute skeevy-ass creep, this isn’t that hard to understand.”
Will experiment with the making-an-about-to-cry face.
In my experience, there are a few songs that will always make me tear up, so if I think I’m gonna need to cry, I start running through them mentally.
I aam sorry that your family contains bastards. Would you be interested in an exchange where we each mail each other’s terrible relatives a large chocolate dick, in which the box also says to eat a dick?
You have my attention.
They are currently mostly sold out, and shipping takes a while, because Holidays, but they are almost-disturbingly-lifelike chocolate dicks
Oh my gods.
I am so down for this.
Can
Can we send these to congress
Because I can think of several people that deserve these
Can I send one directly to the oval office
There is technically nothing stopping you from mailing these to your senator’s office or directly to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington DC