Being abused made me such a “good kid.”

I was

• Always polite
• Never acted without permission
• Never spoke out of turn
• Always did what I was told

And it’s shitty that I was considered mature and praised for those things, and all of those characteristics have translated into me being an immature, “bad adult.”

Now I

• Have difficulty making a keeping friends
• Can’t act without permission/am dependent on others for direction
• Am terrible at communicating
• Have no agency/personal compass

It’s a really difficult thing for people who were abused as children to grapple with.
What made us good children make us bad adults.