- Aries: "240, turn up!"
- Taurus: "Just sell your feelings on eBay."
- Gemini: [talking about being a Chipotle worker for halloween] "I can put guacamole on my shirt and I'll be extra."
- Cancer: "Look, best friend goals! [while writing] When your best friend can write your name on your math paper upside down - I spelt your name wrong..."
- Leo: "There's stars on my underwear bc my ass is out of this world."
- Virgo: [fanning self] "I've gotta chill my cold heart."
- Libra: [pulls school ID out of bra] "My ID is right here calm your titties."
- Scorpio: "An overkill is stabbing someone 37 times."
- Sagittarius: [with a vitamin water label taped around her wrist] "When your friend is Wonder Woman."
- Capricorn: [while having a coughing fit on Friday the 13th] "It'd be an honor to die today."
- Aquarius: [about underwear] "It feels like a cloud on my ass."
- Pisces: [about the leaking roof] "The school's peeing."