nhlnewsdesk:

• wife is having a kid (only works if you have a wife, admittedly heteronormative)
  
• injury (not ideal because you have to miss a regular season game)
• pale canadian boy cannot take the LA sun
• Canadian tire is having a sale that weekend
• got turned into a vampire last minute, need about a weekend to get used to new lifestyle
• your tim horton’s franchise is opening that weekend
• you’ve run away from home to join the circus
• mom said you couldn’t go
• the sun is setting too early and it confuses you and you have to go to bed at 6 pm now
• someone ate all your cats food and you need a whole weekend to replace it
• your dog is sick from eating all of your cats food
• you have an ongoing war with your neighbors and leaving for the all star game would mean forfeit
• montreal tried to bury you in the minors so hopefully people would forget about you (doesn’t work, people just remember you more)
• Jerseys do not go with your new hairdo
• you’re not actually a hockey player just two 5 year olds in a trenchcoat.
• You need to catch up on Pitch™. A new fox series about the first women in major league sports, on every thursday at 9pm