Listen, I would be behind this idea 100%, but sea cows already exist, and it’s the worst

Not that sirenians are the worst, obviously, because if you think manatees are the worst I’ll fight you, but come on, they’re the ONLY obligately marine mammals that AREN’T EVEN MODERATELY CLOSELY RELATED TO COWS, AND YET

Whales, dolphins, porpoises, etc are all descended from an even-toed ungulate, in the same order as cows, giraffes, bison, reindeer, and all the other little cetartiodactyls you can think of. So, super understandable to call them sea cows! But we don’t. We save that name for the sirenians, who, on the other hand, are more closely related to elephants and hyraxes. Of course.

I’d even be alright with pushing for english to adopt the nomenclature of a few other languages and call the hippo a sea cow - at least its an even-toed ungulate, even if it is primarily a freshwater animal. Frankly, it would be better than the other common name for hippos, “water horse”, when EVERYBODY KNOWS that HORSES are QUITE CLEARLY in the order of ODD-TOED UNGULATES. GOSH

tl;dr: Whales are sea cows, manatees are sea elephants, and hippos are just the worst