HILLARY.  GOD I LOVE HER SO THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME THE CHANCE TO TALK ABOUT HER.  

I must confess that some of my love for Hillary Clinton is borne out of a feeling of protectiveness, because she gets so much shit for stuff that is either a) untrue or b) so blatantly rooted in misogyny it’s amazing people think it’s okay to say out loud.

But before I get into why I love her, I want to take a minute to address the common criticisms thrown her way.

1) She’s too conservative.

Well, first of all, when she was a senator she voted with tumblr’s beloved Bernie 93% of the time.  Second of all, when she was First Lady she spearheaded an attempt to pass Universal Healthcare, something that is still seen as a progressive dream in the US over two decades later.  In fact, the main criticism of her as a First Lady was that she was *too liberal* and *too idealistic.*  She took an absolutely brutal beating from all sides in her eight years as First Lady, so when she ran for public office she recalibrated (only slightly, because again, her differences with Sanders are pretty negligible) and having learned her lesson from the backlash to her attempt at healthcare reform, she moved towards more incremental policies.  She still supports raising the minimum wage, criminal justice reform, gun control, paid family leave, and the right for all women to decide when (or if) they want to have children.

Considering the fact that the Republican Party wants to dismantle banking regulations, overturn the legalization of gay marriage, ban abortion, and keep “conversion therapy” legal, I think she’s got a long, long, long way to go before she’s anything resembling conservative.

2) She gave speeches at Goldman Sachs and therefore must be incredibly corrupt.

Except giving these sorts of speeches is very common amongst the political elite and the fact that she spoke to Goldman Sachs does not mean she’s somehow beholden to them any more than the fact that her speech the American Association of Travel Agents means she will ban price comparison websites for travel.  She got paid– very well– because that is how you make money when you’ve reached her level of politics.  You don’t have to like it, but it’s how things work right now.  Acting like this is a unique flaw for Clinton is disingenuous at best. 

3) There’s just something about her– she’s untrustworthy.  She has to be hiding something.

This one is the most infuriating, because Hillary has been in the public eye on a national level since 1992.  Republicans have spent thousands upon thousands of hours investigating her for various supposed wrong doings, and they have discovered…that her husband had an affair with an intern and she had a slightly-shady email account.

That’s it.  Whitewater, Benghazi, all of it– it’s a lot of sound and fury, signifying nothing.  If she really was the criminal that the Republicans (and some Bernie Bros) imagine, she’s a goddamn supervillian because her life has been under a fucking microscope for a quarter of a century.  The “Hillary is untrustworthy” narrative arose out of the GOP’s completely unhinged need to hate her for everything, so every time a liberal repeats that disproven canard remember that you just made Rush Limbaugh smile.  (And if you do, I hope you can live with yourself).

In fact, Politifact rated her public statements as true, mostly true, or half true (she is a politician, after all) 72% of the time.  For comparison, Barack Obama is at 75%, and tumblr’s darling Grandpa Bernie comes in at a whopping…72%.  And her percentage of statements rated straight out true is 23%, while Bernie’s percentage of true statements stands at all of 13%.  

That’s right, motherfuckers: she tells the straight out truth more often than Bernie, but yet people cling to this “she’s a liar” narrative because it gives them an excuse to dislike her.  

And why do they dislike her?  Well, consider the fact that her approval ratings go down whenever she runs for office, only to rise again once she has the job.  Oddly enough, the American people like her when she is doing her job, only to turn on her rather violently when she dares to reveal even the tiniest sliver of ambition.  Go ahead, look at that and tell me that this need to dislike her is not rooted in an ingrained bias against women with ambition.  I dare you.

But now let’s move onto why I like her.

I like her because Hillary is fucking smart.  

Her policy proposals are interconnected, because she understands that raising the minimum wage will help single mothers, and that tackling substance abuse in the US cannot be done without criminal justice reform.  She knows that racial issues in the United States are a symptom of a larger problem that penalizes people of color and is committed to multifaceted solution that takes into account the fact that poverty and racism are interconnected and you can’t fix one problem without addressing the other.

I like her because Hillary is tough.

I don’t mean “tough” in the macho sense of the word.  I mean she has been a walking target for the GOP for twenty five fucking years, and she hasn’t folded.  Every single thing she wears, haircut she gets, and food she eats gets scrutinized and more often than not, mocked.  I personally wilt under moderately-severe criticism and I am in awe of her ability to face down people who think she should be hung for treason with hardly a wince.

 I like her because Hillary gets shit done.

She’s a dedicated public servant who took a bruising primary loss in 2008 in stride and accepted a position in Obama’s cabinet, and her approval ratings as Secretary of State were almost unbelievably high. And here’s where my protectiveness of her comes in:  Hillary has proven herself over and over again to be qualified, competent, and dedicated.  People who have met her consistently describe her as a kind, thoughtful person, and as someone who has heard her speak in person I can say that she is an engaging, inspiring speaker.  And yet people keep complaining that she’s boring, or awkward, or lacking an element of charisma that can’t be defined. 

You know what I think? I think Hillary is the proverbial hall monitor running for student body president.  She knows the principal and all the teachers, she knows exactly what policy changes are possible and how to go about getting them made. She’s done her homework, researched her positions, and diligently laid out her case for why she deserves the position.

And then the fun stoner from the art department walks up to the podium, announces that he will make the cafeteria serve pizza every day, and walks away to thunderous applause.  Never mind the fact that lunch menus are dictated by federal policy and there is absolutely no way for one student to change that.  Never mind the fact that it’s only one half thought out policy that won’t really, truly change the way the school is run.  It sounds good, so people start looking for reasons to dislike her and justify why they won’t vote for her.  They know she’d be great at the job, but…she wants it too much.  And when the stoner is legitimately defeated, some of his worst supporters decide to vote for the racist jackass who punches kids with disabilities and drives a pick up truck with Confederate flags all over it instead (or write in something clever, like Seymour Buttz) because they really, truly can’t handle the fact that a woman might not just be qualified for a powerful position, but that she actually has the audacity to want it.

Did that last paragraph sound a little personal to you?  Good. It should.  I was that hall monitor (and eventually student body president, although there was no stoner opponent and while my high school had it’s fair share of racist jackasses, none of them bothered with student government).  I know, on a very tiny scale, the garbage truck of crap that comes with being a woman who takes a leadership role.  Navigating that is difficult, but Hillary has been doing it for decades without breaking a sweat.

I am also a woman who has agonized over every goddamn word in this response because I know that by being a woman with an opinion on the internet, I’m running the risk of getting an absolute avalanche of shit dumped on me.  So I carefully chose every link to support my argument because if there’s even one tiny flaw in my logic, every single thing I said will be entirely discounted.  Women don’t ever get to be good enough– we have to be perfect, or there’s no point in trying.

And there’s no doubt about it– Hillary is not a perfect candidate.  She has positions I disagree with, but then again, so does Obama.  There’s plenty of legitimate criticism out there, but so much of it is wrapped in this misogynistic bullshit that boils down to “she’s not behaving the way I want a woman to behave” that it’s nigh impossible to separate the two.

But honestly, if someone reading this still isn’t convinced:

You don’t have to like her, you just have to vote for her.  Chances are, you’re never going to actually meet her, and if you do, it’ll be a handshake on a rope line and nothing else.  She’s not your mom, your cranky aunt, or your mean fifth grade teacher.  She’s not going to be your boss or your neighbor.  She’s running for President of the fucking United States.  And the alternative– and make no mistake, my friends, there’s only one alternative outcome here– is a misogynistic, racist windbag who brags about his desire to bar entry to this country based on ethnicity and religion.  He openly idolizes brutal dictators and lashes out like a toddler up past his bedtime when he’s challenged even the slightest bit.  He is an unhinged maniac who should not be in charge of running a gas station, much less the country, but those are your choices.

A competent, smart, thoughtful, dedicated public servant.

Or this motherfucker. 

So yeah.

#ImWithHer