New hobby idea: using phrases that sound like down-home folksy expressions you learned from your grandma but are actually just nonsense you just made up

- that man really salts my melon!

- you know what they say, it takes a bushel of corn to feed one chicken

- a louse will live on any head it lands on

- don’t put down a salt lick and say you ain’t got cows

- there’s a guy who eats half the berries and says the pie shell’s too big

- like digging a pond and hoping for ducks