new reality series: a show that is like “house hunters,” almost exactly like “house hunters,” except that when they get into the house i am already there, angry and kinda drunk, and i force them to watch a long powerpoint on historic vernacular architecture so that they understand why a fucking bungalow built in the god damned nineteen dickfucking twenties is not going to have a walk-in closet, open floor plan and dual sink vanity already, i mean, Jesus God