- aries: "i would beep at you right now if i wasn't so nice. YOU'RE LUCKY I'M SO FUCKING NICE"
- taurus: "you're not allowed to be this close to me without at least BUYING ME DINNER FIRST"
- gemini: "WHO TAUGHT YOU HOW TO DRIVE? SPONGEBOB????"
- cancer: "you're a GOSH DARN MENACE"
- leo: "i really hope your boyfriend likes it when you ride his ass, BECAUSE I DON'T"
- virgo: "FUCK YOU AND YOUR FORD FOCUS"
- libra: "you're making me EVEN MORE LATE TO WORK THAN I WAS ORIGINALLY"
- sagittarius: *immortan joe voice* "MEDIOCRE!"
- scorpio: "if i ever marry someone who drives like you i will DIVORCE THEM ON THE SPOT. RIGHT THERE ON THE HIGHWAY. WATCH ME."
- capricorn: "HOW IS YOUR KID ON THE HONOR ROLL BUT YOU CAN'T EVEN READ THE SPEED LIMIT SIGN???"
- aquarius: "MEET ME IN THE PIT, BRENDA"
- pisces: *high pitched screaming as i change lanes*