okay, what about clint barton getting assigned to an op with a new partner
and they have to go undercover as a married couple
clint doesn’t want to. in fact, he has the exact opposite of wanting to. he hates playing domestic
except, this time it’s easy. they mesh well. they work well together. and when it turns out that helen is using the pta bake sale to spread mind-control nanobots to the other wealthy parents into drones, it’s almost seamless to take her out and save the day
so they go home, and that night he finds himself calling his partner again
“hey,” he says when she picks up. “wanna stay married?”
“sure,” laura says. “come on over.”
When Coulson calls Clint up with a new assignment three weeks later, they’re at brunch.
“Where are you?” Coulson asks. “It sounds like a duck pond.”
“I’m at brunch with my wife,” Clint answered, making faces at Laura across the table. She kicks him in the foot.
“Wife? What wife?”
“The one you assigned me,” Clint answers. “Oh, by the way, thanks, Phil. You should start a dating service.”
Eventually, Laura suggests, after several more months of confused phone calls from people who hang up with the mistaken notion that they must be at brunch for a mission that hey, maybe they should actually get a piece of paper that says they’re married and not just confuse people all the time.
At first Clint is baffled by this.
They get to go on dates and no one ever interrupts them with stupid paperwork questions while they’re out.
“But if they think we’re on a long-term undercover gig, we’re not going to get other projects,” Laura points out. Also, they could have really good cake at their wedding. A fake marriage doesn’t have wedding cake.
Clint agrees on the condition that the cake is purple.
this post has gotten roughly 100 notes an hour since i posted it at 4pm and i think that’s beautiful
I HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS NONSTOP
The cake is purple. In fact, it’s a Smith Island Cake with every layer in a gradient from lighter to darker purple. The filling is the lightest purple and the frosting is the darkest purple.
Laura’s dress is her favorite color, which is green. Clint’s tie is green, too. Laura’s bridesmaids’ dresses are purple and Clint’s groomsmen–
Well, let’s just say that the only time they were in conflict over the wedding planning was when they had to decide who got Bobbi Morse and Melinda May on THEIR side. Laura finally capitulates when they realize she has a huge extended family to invite and Clint has a brother whom he’s not really sure will show up or not.
Oh, the invitations are also purple. And green.Barney DOES show up in the end, and brings a gift: an extremely large crystal punchbowl that appears large enough to swim in (they hesitate to ask where he got it), and scratch-off lottery tickets.
Laura’s family has no idea what she does for the living. They know she works for the government, but they’re under the impression that she’s a sysadmin and the reasons she’s out of touch so often is because she has to travel to install military-grade security on bases around the globe. Clint…doesn’t really know that many people outside of SHIELD, so their work-family has fun making up secret identities for the occasion, and they all have fun watching Laura’s uncle trying to politely suss out what the deal is with Clint’s dad without asking right out whether Clint is adopted and how Mr. Barton lost an eye.This is actually a Mrs Barton story I could get behind. I hope someone writes it and adds the link to this post!