Dear tirlaeyn:

My husband and I are in the process of getting divorced, but we don’t want anyone to know until the deed is done and our assets and children have been appropriately divided up.

We sent our kids to the Jurassic World theme park to visit my sister (who runs it), so they could have some fun while my husband moves out.

Can you believe that she didn’t just drop everything to make sure that they would have a good time? I mean, really, I know that I didn’t tell her that my husband is leaving and I’m moving my lesbian lover in this weekend, but the least she could have done is ignore her duties and concentrate on my boys! My kids are way more important than twenty-odd thousand people who paid for a safe experience with a lot of giant, man-eating predators.

– Just Want My Boys to Have Fun

ps: what was the point of her ignoring my kids if dinosaurs were going to get loose anyway! My kids have bruises! The gall!

Dear tirlaeyn:

My sister sent her kids to visit without warning me and is now pissed that they were sweaty and a bit bruised after their dinosaur adventure. Any advice on how to keep the peace?

Also, I had adrenaline-fueled “we didn’t die!” sex with a subordinate who trains raptors as attack dogs. Now he thinks we should start planning a wedding!

I’m not sure how to approach him about my general ambivalence about anything more than a fuckbuddy relationship. Help!

-Badass Dino-chaser in High Heels