fituring:

neverexisted:

A single sperm has 37.5MB of DNA information in it. That means that a normal ejaculation represents a data transfer of 1,587.5TB.

Now that’s a lot of information to swallow

trash-king:

meaniemikan:

trash-king:

when none of ur internet friends are online

timezoned again

clockblocked

FUCK

equalistmako:

dreamwurks:

equalistmako:

[bursts into a random therapist’s office] listen, am I a shy extrovert or an outgoing introvert

It’s called ambivert

[throws up some finger guns and walks backwards out of the office] okay sweet thanks 

avianawareness:

perks-of-being-chinese:

iguanamouth:

birds are so ridiculous how do they even all exist???

fuckin

crazy ass

bobbleheaded

tiny motherfuckin

i dont even

things that dont make any sense

dragon faced

jesus christ is that a duck

some kind of prehistoric nonsense

holy shit where is your beak even birds, BIRDS

birds are so cool omg

I won’t be happy until birds rule the internet because BIRDS.

inkalypse:

This whole bro code thing where if a guy dates his friend’s sister he’s betraying the friend is wild, you would think your sister dating your friend meant you didn’t have to worry because he’s someone you know and trust but it just goes to show how all these bros know one another to be misogynistic and predatory and regularly exhibit that behavior around one another, and it’s all fun and games and bros before hos until somebody hits on somebody’s sister. Like, clearly you are aware that you are all gross to women but that’s okay with you as long as you and your friends are targeting random women and no one is doing the same to your sister or mother? Why do women have to be related to you for it to occur to you to respect them? 

theblamegabe:

- live in irresponsible timezones
- use incorrect measurements systems
- too far to hug

fuckyeahorchestra:

The Boston Symphony was performing Beethoven’s Ninth. In the piece, there’s a long passage about 20 minutes during which the double basses have nothing to do. Rather than sit around the whole time looking stupid, some bassists decided to sneak offstage and go to the tavern next door for a quick one. After slamming several beers in quick succession (as double bassists are prone to do), one of them looked at his watch. “Hey! We need to get back!”

“No need to panic,” said a fellow bassist.

“I thought we might need some extra time, so I tied the last few pages of the conductor’s score together with string. It’ll take him a few minutes to get it untangled.”

A few moments later they staggered back to the concert hall and took their places in the orchestra. About this time, a member of the audience noticed the conductor seemed a bit edgy and said as much to her companion.

“Well, of course,” said her companion. “Don’t you see?
It’s the bottom of the Ninth, the score is tied, and the bassists are loaded.”