thatdiabolicalfeminist:
homojabi:
caelaevitas:
homojabi:
The whole idea behind “if you can’t tell your friends that you’re LGBT then get better friends” comes from a position that not a lot of people are in tbh, especially being LGBT.
Friends aren’t just something that you can pull out of thin air, and for a lot of people friends are apart of their continued survival re: validation, attention, support in other areas like dealing with school and family, etc.
Especially when it comes to high school, you can’t expect people to just drop everyone and everything if they are homophobic or transphobic—in a lot of ways, having a bigoted friend is safer and more important than coming out.
That doesn’t make it LGBT folks’ fault for not making better friends, it just means that if someone remains freinds with homophobic and transphobic people, it’s for a reason and we shouldn’t blame them for it.
no? what the fuck? there is absolutely no good or healthy reason to stay with people who hate something that’s a big part of who you are. being alone is better then giving in to desperation of faking your identity just so you won’t be lonely.
Okay? But loneliness is a serious fucking thing? It’s not just a “oh well you’ll get over it” thing, it’s a real thing with real consequences. When I came out, I lost ALL of my friends. Every single one.
No one would talk to me, even casually, or smile at me or anything. I was harassed, people gossiped about me all the time, I was bullied and hated. I was suicidal for a long time and wished I had never come out because being closeted would’ve been so much better and easier because at least I would never have been that ostracized.
And to this day I have not been able to make a single friend while being open about my gender and sexuality. It’s great that you’re totally fine with being out and lonely, but literally the point of this post is that not everyone is.
Some people choose safety and friendship over being ridiculed and bullied and that’s okay. It’s not your job to tell people that they’re wrong for doing that. So like sorry you see someone’s health and safety as “no good reason” but I do.
Marginalised people are forced to make lose-lose decisions all the time, and we make them based on our own personal priorities and needs.
Telling vulnerable kids that “there’s no excuse” for not choosing isolation and fear over being closeted is victim blaming bullshit. Their priorities may not be the same as yours, but their needs are still very important.
There’s no excuse for shaming kids for choosing safety when they’re given such an impossible choice.
