Icon by @ThatSpookyAgent. Call me Tir or Julian. 37. He/They. Queer. Twitter: @tirlaeyn. ao3: tirlaeyn. BlueSky: tirlaeyn. 18+ Only. Star Trek. The X-Files. Sandman. IwtV. OMFD. Definitionless in this Strict Atmosphere.
If I offered you $4 to come to my house and make me dinner and wash my dishes afterwards, would you do it? Probably not. But that’s what a minimum wage worker at McDonald’s can do in a half hour.
What about $8 to come over and play with my kid and teach her to read and change her if she needs it and do all other assorted activities for an hour? Again, probably not. But that’s what a day care worker might do in an hour.
If I paid you $4, would you come over and make my bed and vaccume my room and do some of my laundry and clean my bathroom and pick up trash and dust? Probably not but that’s what a hotel maid might do in half an hour.
When you break it down into smaller increments it’s obvious that people need to be paid more, that the minium wage is pathetic.
In honor of Autism Awareness Month, what about shutting up, sitting the fuck down and listening to what autistic people have to say about autism?
1. Autism is a fundamental part of who we are and how we experience the world and it cannot be separated from who we are as people. Autism isn’t something that is happening to us, it’s something we are. Do not tell us that autism is something that we have or something that we’re suffering from, that we only have value if we can separate our identities and our personalities from autism. For the vast majority of autistic people, autism is a part of our identity which means that despite common belief most of us prefer to be called “autistic” as opposed to “people with autism.”
2. The vast majority of autistic people do not want a cure, we want acceptance and accommodations. Do not put your time and money into researching how to cure autism and how to prevent it, put time and money into accommodating and accepting autistic people. We do not wish to become neurotypical, we wish to change society so that we can be accommodated, accepted and included as autistic people. Our goal isn’t to become as close to neurotypical as possible, it is to get the opportunity to live happy, fulfilling lives as autistic people. It is society that needs to chance, not us.
3. We do not support Autism Speaks or their campaign #LightItUpBlueand neither should you. If you want to support autistic people, check out ASAN or Autism Women’s Network instead. If you want to know why Autism Speaks isn’t supported by autistic people, this post contains links to a lot of resources on the topic.
4. Functioning labels are inaccurate and harmful and they do not give a nuanced description of what kind of support an autistic person needs. Instead of calling an autistic person “high functioning” or “low-functioning” name the specific issues or strengths you’re referring to. Are they non-verbal? Say that. Are they able to manage a job? Say that. Are they unable to drive? Say that. Do not attempt to force us into two boxes, one of which are used to invalidate or struggles and ignore our deficits and the other one being used to ignore our assets and deny our humanity.
5. Non-verbal autistic people can and do learn to communicate using other communication forms than verbal speech and they’re all individuals with their own thoughts, feelings, wants and opinions. You do not get to speak on behalf of non-verbal autistic people. You do not get to assume that you know exactly what they think, want and feel, especially not when you have never made any effort to communicate with any of them. Instead of assuming that you know what non-verbal autistic people think and feel,
try listening to what they have to say by reading the words of some non-verbal autistic people such as @lysikanorAmy SequenziaorEmma Zurcher-Long.
6. ABA is harmful and abusive. The goal of ABA isn’t to help autistic people develop coping methods and helpful strategies, it is to train and force them into hiding their autistic traits by all means possible. If you do not see why this is a problem or if you want to learn more about why it is such a big problem, this masterpost by @neurowonderful contains a lot of resources on why ABA is harmful.
7. If you want to learn more about autism, listen to autistic people - not our parents, our siblings, our therapists our or caregivers. Autistic people are the ones who know the most about being autistic, so if you want to learn about autism we’re the ones you should ask. If you want to learn more about the different aspects of autism, @neurowonderful‘s youtube series “Ask An Autistic” is a good place to start. You can also send any questions you might have about autism to @askanautisticwhere autistic people are ready to answer them for you.
Please reblog this post to spread the word even if you do not plan to share anything else in connection with Autism Awareness Month.
Incredible illustrator @thelatestkate has never been afraid to talk about difficult topics; in the past, she’s shared her personal experiences with depression and leaving her religion, and her courage and candidness are always inspirational to us.
Today, she deals with another serious issue: how to cope if your parents are bullies. Bullying may seem like something that just happens in high school hallways, but it can happen at home, too—and if it’s happening to you, please know that the SparkLife community is always here for you, and that there are places you can turn to for help.
I know so many of my friends who were teens and young adults had such a hard time coping with their parents and couldn’t wait to get away from them and in some ways were trapped with them. I wish this had been around then.
aw this is so sweet and gentle
For all my friends struggling with their relationship with their parents. Gosh sometimes I forget the number one advice: it’s not my duty to fix my parents. Also the financial thing. Seriously they put so much pressure on me getting a job and I know it’s because of this.
One thing to keep in mind is it is *possible* that your relationship with your parents might improve once you move out. It’s not a guarantee, but it is a possibility. Being able to set your boundaries and say things like “I have to go” and hanging up the phone is a huge difference.
I wish I had this when I was younger. I would have realized that it was ok to leave and not worked so hard to fix a relationship that was going nowhere.
Why is it cute and trendy for girls to wear men’s flannel shirts and baggy boy’s sweatpants, but when a boy tries to wear anything remotely close to girl’s clothes, they are considered “girly” or “gay”?
Do you know why?
Do you want to know why?
Because our society thinks its degrading to be feminine.
GIVE THIS THING AS MANY NOTES AS POSSIBLE. EVERYBODY MUST SEE THIS AND HAVE IT ON THEIR BLOG. HOLY SHIT.
No its because most boys look ridiculous in girls clothes, but girls look decent in “boyfriend” clothes. Stop trying to make EVERY THING into some form of female oppression.
It’s not “boyfriend” clothes. Clothes do not inherently have gender, they are pieces of fabric and no one cares about your hetero insertions. There was a time when it was normal for young men to wear dresses, clothing was much more gender neutral.
Cute little boys in their boy dresses!
And dresses and skirts look fine on men:
In different cultures around the world different items of clothing are worn that in many countries would be seen as feminine:
And they all look fabulous as fuck, like wow!
The only reason you think so now is because you are socialised differently. Which is ok, that happens, but when you assert things as facts and don’t look at any of the culture behind them you looking like an anal fissure.
Do not project your issues onto other men, men can wear whatever the fuck they want and look fabulous as hell.
Now I kinda want a doll-making app for my phone. Anyone have a recommendation?
