rainymeadows:

kvotheunkvothe:

I have a terrible joke, and I must share it.

So a frog goes in for a loan. He hops up to the desk of Patricia Whack, one of the bank employees, and says, “I want to borrow $500,000.”
Patricia says, “Well that’s a lot.”
Frog says, “It’s okay, my dad’s Mick Jagger.”
“That’s nice,” Patricia answers, “but if you want to borrow that much, the bank needs some kind of collateral.”
So the frog takes a ceramic pig out of its little bag and sets it on Patricia’s desk (he looks very smug at this point). He says, “I think this ought to take care of that.”
“Uh, let me check with my boss.” So Patricia takes the ceramic pig and goes back to her boss’s office and explains the situation. “And what the hell even is this?” she concludes, pointing to the ceramic pig.

Her boss says, “It’s a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man’s a Rolling Stone.”

THIS MADE ME SCREAM IN RAGE

champzagne:

when i see women out wearing revealing clothing…..im honestly so impressed with their confidence…i look at them and think wow that is a person so comfortable in her own skin look how relaxed and radiant 

root-beer-riku:

Anyone who says you can’t give flowers to boys clearly hasn’t tried it. Seriously, give a boy some roses, they get adorably flustered and go all red. It’s the most precious thing.

Give more boys flowers.
🌹🌼🌻🌸🌷🌺💐

asynca:

For everyone complaining about being forgetful: being depressed and/or suffering anxiety causes your hippocampus - the part of your brain that helps process and form memories - to shrink. It can correct itself over time if your symptoms improve (or you medicate with anti-depressants), but typically it’s permanently altered. If you’ve been depressed and/or had an anxiety disorder and you have a shit memory, it’s because while you were ill, the chemical state of being that way altered the part of your brain which helps form memories. It’s not your fault.