giveitawideberth:

bdsmpetplay:

So I am one of the unfortunate souls who goes nonverbal whenever I get severely stressed out and/or self-loathing (because I think I screwed something up between me and my partner)

SO,

To help others out  who have possibly had this issue (or have a partner who have this issue), here’s some tips that might help you!

1. BE PATIENT! Give them time to formulate words. Give them time to ground themselves. Don’t get mad at them if it’s only a 1-5 word response, and/or they stutter. They are TRYING to speak to you, but their anxiety is preventing them.
   
2. Ask questions that will be simple “yes” or “no” answers. This requires precision with your words (for example: “ Do you want me to hug you? Do you want me to put a blanket around you?”).
3. Offer them a notepad with writing utensil. If they can’t speak for whatever reason, they might be able to write down what is on their mind. There are some applications out there that helps individuals who are nonverbal
4. Give them something cold to hold that has texture (such as an orange).This can help ground the individual and bring them back to reality.
5. After the incident, offer to talk about it in a safe, comfortable setting. Your partner might be able to better talk about the specific incident after the incident has taken place. They will have had time to process what had happened. 
6.  Take them out of the stressful environment. If there is something (or someone) in the room stressing them out, offer to remove it. Be specific with your questions. This might help them be able to form words again.

WOW YES

rosenby:

the-vaudevillain:

rosenby:

iliveondaydreams:

rosenby:

Summer means poor children are not getting 2 free meals a day at school so if you’re able, please consider donating to your local food bank.

Until September 2nd, if you’re under 18, you can receive free lunch at public library branches in NYC (proof of age shouldn’t be required), and from trucks at certain locations around the city. Some schools should be open and providing them, too!!

This is so helpful for anyone that needs it!

here is a website where you can find similar programs based on your location.

These links are so helpful and I’m glad to spread them!

But for those of you in a position I still urge you to donate to your local food bank. Their supplies run low in summer as not everyone has access to or knows about programs like these.

turtlemma:

astriferous-adventurer:

i dont have enough money to upgrade my phone to something that pokemon go will even attempt to run on so in the meantime im living vicariously through everyones stories which have been anywhere between adorable, hilarious, and terrifying

so far ive heard of

• a guy discovering the town hes lived in for 10 years and getting enthralled by local history he keeps learning about on park plaques
  

• finding magikarp in your shower

• someone got arrested for walking around a graveyard at 3 am looking??? for??? pokemon??? hol y shit? or something like that??? 
  

• the police station memo in australia politely and cutely asking “budding pokemon trainers” not to actually come in to the police station for the sandshrew sneaking around in there, and that they can catch it by being close to the building, and to “look both ways before crossing the street”
  

• speaking of which, some person who had pokego for only 15 minutes and successfully crossed a 4 lane intersection for a pokemon
  

• someone went out to catch pokemon and found an actual baby bird and is now attempting to take care of it and research the proper ways of caring and aiding a small bird in recovery
  

also

and

elodieunderglass:

feathersmoons:

goshawke:

lemonsharks:

melancholic-wings:

kramergate:

curtis-ballard:

kramergate:

Protip for men: if marriage is a horrifying concept for you and you think it is an evil trap, do not buy a ring and ask a woman to marry you

I’m way over seeing radical feminist bullshit on my dash. This isn’t even social justice or a real issue.

sorry that not marrying someone you dont loathe is radical feminism i guess?

women: don’t propose or get married if u don’t like the thought of marriage

men: what kind of sjw fuckery

the other bit that this implies is:

If you like your wife, act like it. Even around your friends. Be open and honest about liking your wife, liking spending time with her, and not being resentful of the shared work of building a household. Let your buddies know you can’t hang out with them because you’d rather be home with your wife, whom you like, because she is your legit bff, even though you know your buddies are gonna mock you for it.

Stand up to your buddies. Tell them mocking isn’t cool and you don’t want them to do it anymore. Challenge the other men in your life to be better men.

That is what “don’t get married if you think marriage is an evil trap” implies to men who are married. And while it’s all completely reasonable I imagine that it’s scary as fuck when it’s just so much easier to har de har har the little woman’s such a nag, ain’t she, don’t we all hate being married so much? with other men.

In that context, “don’t get married if you think marriage is an evil trap” is kindof a radical statement.

The number of guys I work with who are engaged who started pulling the “uh oh, life over soon, har har” shit that I have completely shut down with a simple “well if you don’t want to get married, then don’t”…*sigh* And they’re just like, hem, haw, welllll if I don’t then she might not stay with meee, which I respond to with “well, sounds like you need to have a pretty serious and honest conversation with your fiancee about your feelings then” and then the *panic!* look…When you remove that easy “hah hah ball-and-chain” narrative, watch the reaction. Some of them (to a female friend) will mumblingly admit that they love their fiancee and are excited to be married. Others…all you get is fear.

That’s the disservice we do men by refusing to teach boys how to explore their emotional needs. It hurts everyone. I watched three male friends walk into marriages I can tell they weren’t ready for and didn’t want, just because it was expected and they had no tools for emotional self-examination. Two of those marriages are (shockingly) in crisis, a couple years later. One has kids involved now. It’s more than a little heartbreaking. The marriages I see that are working? Are the guys with the emotional maturity to talk to their wives and who don’t care if everyone knows they’re in love with them.

SERIOUSLY. 

Marriage is a smart move for heterosexual men. Married heterosexual men make more money and enjoy better career progression, better physical health, and better mental health. Married men live longer than unmarried men, and are happier. Married men are promoted above single men or men with unmarried partners, and earn thousands of dollars more. 

When married men get cancer or heart attacks, they have a better chance of surviving than unmarried men; when they are sick, they enjoy better care and get better faster. Married men suffer less from social isolation, report higher life satisfaction, and are more resilient to crises. (Of course, “bad” marriages reverse some of these effects - a man in a bad marriage will have more heart problems and be unhappier than an unmarried man.)

And it isn’t just that the “good men” who get married are just naturally “good men” who succeed at life. Studies on identical male twins show that married twins prosper more, and relatively “unsuccessful” men who marry see their fortunes improve. [x][x][x][x][x] 

That’s not even counting the daily benefits of being married. Even in heterosexual marriages with complete gender parity - i.e. husband and wife both do equal amounts of cooking, cleaning and chores - the labor of running a home is still halved, which means more time for leisure or improvement. And most heterosexual households don’t practice gender parity - the women do more work [x]. It’s a real luxury to have someone cook your meals and run the household for you, which usually takes about 2.5 hours of extra work every day - so married men often have more time in their days.

Here’s the sad part. Marriage is known to make heterosexual women WORSE off than unmarried women. [x] [x] This has been discussed since the 1970s. A distinct problem is that married women often suffer a decline in mental health, but this could be confounded because married women are often distressed in heterosexual marriage, leading to more depression and anxiety than they’d normally have [x]. On average, heterosexual marriage is bad for women’s careers. It creates more work for women. Married women do have a better chance of surviving cancer and heart attacks than single women, but the benefit for men is greater. And since nearly 70% of divorces are initiated by women - not relationship breakups, which are equal between genders, but legal marriage breakups - women are the ones who want to get out. [x]

In conclusion, despite pop-culture insistence that women can’t wait to drag men to the altar so that they can Enslave Them For Life, men get a lot of benefits from marrying women. And women don’t benefit very much at all. 

So why bother with all this performative, dramatic nonsense about marriage being bad and scary for men? Why pretend it’s “funny” for men to act like marriage is terrible, and that they hate their wives? To someone in possession of the facts, this Extremely Witty Banter is just going to make them laugh… at YOU.

you-deserve-a-rhink:

mariaschuyler:

atavanhalen:

you-wish-you-had-this-url:

coolpepcat:

genesisdoes:

ghostfiish:

reveille413:

tootsie-roll-frankenstein:

• any target
• churches in texas
• abandoned 7/11’s
• your bedroom at 5 am
• hospitals at midnight
• warehouses that smell like dust
• lighthouses with lights that don’t work anymore
• empty parking lots
• ponds and lakes in suburban neighborhoods
• rooftops in the early morning
• inside a dark cabinet

• playgrounds at night
  
• rest stops on highways
  
• deep in the mountains

• early in the morning wherever it’s just snowed
  
• trails by the highway just out of earshot of traffic
  
• schools during breaks
• those little beaches right next to ferry docks
• bowling alleys

• unfamiliar mcdonalds on long roadtrips
  
• your friends living room once everybody but you is asleep
  
• laundromats at midnight
  

what the fuck

• galeries in art museums that are empty except for you 
  
• the lighting section of home depot
• stairwells

•hospital waiting rooms •airports from midnight to 7am • bathrooms in small concert venues

I just got the weirdest feeling I swear

OK LISTEN THERE ARE REASONS FOR THIS!!!

A lot of these places are called liminal spaces - which means they are throughways from one space to the next. Places like rest stops, stairwells, trains, parking lots, waiting rooms, airports feel weird when you’re in them because their existence is not about themselves, but the things before and after them. They have no definitive place outside of their relationship to the spaces you are coming from and going to. Reality feels altered here because we’re not really supposed to be in them for a long time for think about them as their own entities, and when we do they seem odd and out of place.

The other spaces feel weird because our brains are hard-wired for context - we like things to belong to a certain place and time and when we experience those things outside of the context our brains have developed for them, our brains are like NOPE SHIT THIS ISN’T RIGHT GET OUT ABORT ABORT. Schools not in session, empty museums, being awake when other people are asleep - all these things and spaces feel weird because our brain is like “I already have a context for this space and this is not it so it must be dangerous.” Our rational understanding can sometimes override that immediate “danger” impulse but we’re still left with a feeling of wariness and unease. 

Listen I am very passionate about liminal spaces they are fascinating stuff or perhaps I am merely a nerd.