Icon by @ThatSpookyAgent. Call me Tir or Julian. 37. He/They. Queer. Twitter: @tirlaeyn. ao3: tirlaeyn. BlueSky: tirlaeyn. 18+ Only. Star Trek. The X-Files. Sandman. IwtV. OMFD. Definitionless in this Strict Atmosphere.
I’m really uncomfortable with stories where one person is like, really wary and Doesn’t Trust Anyone/Believe in Love because they’ve Been Hurt Before, and their love interest’s way of Teaching Them to Trust Again is to just utterly ignore their boundaries.
Especially if whenever our prickly protagonist calls them on it, the love interest shames them and insists it’s for the protagonists’ own good, because They Need to Learn to Trust Again.
That’s so fucked up.
After a bad situation, especially a bad relationship, it’s completely understandable and normal to be afraid of losing your autonomy again, of being railroaded and having your boundaries ignored like they were before. It’s completely understandable to be cynical about people’s intentions and to not want to fall in love when your love for someone has been weaponized against you before.
And the right way for someone to earn your trust should involve them taking the time to listen to and respect your boundaries and be there for you in a way that doesn’t threaten your autonomy. Someone who deserves your trust and love won’t try to bully or manipulate or coerce you, even “for your own good!”
Someone who wants to earn your trust and love should be willing to prove that they can be trustworthy. If it’s too much work for them - which is fine! - they shouldn’t be pursuing a relationship with someone who doesn’t feel safe without that work.
It’s not romantic for someone to decide that their interest in someone gives them the right to do absolutely anything, however inappropriate, that might result in a relationship. It’s really gross that we get sold this idea that it’s “romantic” to overrule people’s boundaries and autonomy, as long as your goal is to be in a relationship with them.
It’s not romantic. Stories where this happens are not good love stories. They’re stories of people afraid to trust, having their choices taken away from them yet again.
ethnic noses represent thousands of years of culture and heritage and no white person should make you feel like you have to file it down or cut it open to be beautiful
Yes for broad noses, wide noses, and big noses in general
i’m so here for bi and pan kids who use “gay” as a casual descriptor for themselves, especially when expressing their same-gender attraction. i’m here for you if you’re afraid to or uncomfortable with using “queer,” i’m here if you don’t have the energy to explain your sexuality every time you mention it, i’m here if you just like the sound and the way it rolls off the tongue. you’re great; keep doing what you’re doing.
Gomez gives out better relationship advice than like 90% of dudes.
Gomez Addams is a suave motherfucker who loves his wife more than his own life.
Everyone should want a Gomez. He’s p cool.
Gomez and Morticia Addams actually have a very loving and extremely healthy relationship, both in the old TV show and in the more recent movies. They were also one of the first television couples to be shown to have an active (albeit offscreen) sex life. Their frank attitude towards sexuality was shocking in its’ time, but their relationship and their family dynamic is actually more functional and more…dare I say it…sane than most families portrayed on TV.
The comedy in the show came from the family’s “odd” lifestyle, rather than from infighting and petty bickering, or worse, as was common on other shows of the time, thinly veiled references to spousal abuse. They didn’t make fun of each other or act like their children were creatures from another world. Were they strange and outside of social norms? Yes. Were they united in creating a loving home and being good, supportive parents? Absolutely.
These two support and adore their children, care for an aging mother and an estranged brother, put family before everything, and they love each other, wholly, fiercely, without reserve. They are every bit as much in love after at least a decade of marriage as they were the day they met.
Relationship goals. LIFE goals.
Just remembered in the second movie when their third child became “normal” for a period and although they were shocked and didn’t know how to handle it, they didn’t mistreat the child or love it any less. They accepted the difference, even though it was hard for them.
Reblogged for truth.
❤️❤️❤️
Posts about Gomez and Morticia Addams are almost always uplifting and I’m happy to have them on my dash, but I think my favorite bit about this conversation is what Gomez is actually saying to Fester.
It’s nobody’s surprise that many of the aesthetic and thematic elements of The Addams Family in its various incarnations are influenced by Gothic tradition (not goth, that mostly came later. And not Goth, that was much much much too early), and I think Gomez’s words are a dead bullseye in terms of Gothic mentality.
“Make her feel like she’s the most sublime creature on earth”
The sublime is a recurring theme throughout Gothic literature. Although the word (like “awesome”) has lost a lot of it’s original luster over the intervening decades, sublime doesn’t really mean elevated and lofty (or even heavenly) as it’s often used today, but rather something possessing the power and grandeur to induce awe and veneration in the mind of the beholder. Although less than divine, something sublime possessed a wildness and power that transcended human ability to control…or even to comprehend.
Sublime is standing at the edge of the Grand Canyon leaning as far as you dare over the railing and still not being able to see the canyon floor below. Sublime is warrior-queen Galadriel being tempted by the One Ring. Sublime is waking up in the middle of the night in the heart of a wild thunderstorm.
“Make her feel like she’s the most sublime creature on earth”
Gomez isn’t advising Fester to treat a woman he fancies like a princess, or even elevate her to pedestal of angelic nature (who’s idea was it to equate femininity with purity anyway? What a laughable and historically damaging idea. Shame on whatever dead (probably) white dudes promoted that!)
Gomez is advising Fester that if he truly loves a woman he must do everything he can to remind her of how she’s an untameable force of nature who’s grandeur brings him to his knees in awe and terror. Just like Morticia, for Gomez.
I’ll sign off with one of my most favorite quotes of all time, because it feels suddenly very relevant:
“When I find myself surrounded by so much beauty, I feel as if I am the eye of a hurricane.”
Just so my followers know this has been vetted by experts to be totally A okay. The shark is happy to be rubbed. In the full video you see the shark swim to the person to get the rubs.
Now I’m not saying that anti Eastern European bigotry is a particularly pressing issue, and I’m aware this pales in comparison to the abuse Michelle Obama got and continues to get from people who disagree with her husband’s politics.
It’s just amazing to me how people who self identify as progressive think it’s absolutely justified and appropriate to be misogynist and xenophobic towards Melania Trump because her husband is misogynistic and xenophobic.
Those tweets are really disgusting. Assholes.
“Leaving everything you know and marrying a foreigner you’ve never met out of economic desperation is hilarious and you should be punished for it.” Jesus, this is gross.
(That said, anti-Eastern European bigotry is a pretty pressing issue worldwide. America is not the world, etc.)
I was sure this was out there somewhere, but hoping I wouldn’t run into it.
Guys, listen.
Donald Trump abused and violently raped at least one of his wives.
Melania has a pattern of being quiet and demure and not talking.
Think about that for just a minute. Think of who she is married to. Think about what it might mean that we have not seen her speak for herself.
Then think about whether calling her a mail order bride mockingly is appropriate.
Donald Trump is a control freak with a rage problem. People like that often pick women they know they can control.
If he wanted someone “pretty and obedient” and HE SEES THAT PERSON as his little mail order bride
THAT IS ON HIM
HIM
NOT MELANIA
Pretty sure she isn’t the one who decided to run for office.
Yes, First Lady is an (unpaid) office in its own right, but it’s kind of attached to the whole Presidency thing and when your asshole husband decides he’s running for president you tend to get dragged along for the ride.
(Even when your non-asshole husband runs for president you kinda get dragged along for the ride. Does anyone remember Michelle Obama being sort of pressured to quit her job back when Barack was first trying for the White House?)
In any case, I highly doubt Melania had much of a say in the decision.
I also despair of anyone who spends this much effort and vitriol calling Melania unsuitable for office when there’s the shitshow that is Donald right there in the same equation.
g*psy is not a synonym for boho, hippie, fashionable, interesting, wanderlust, or anything else in that vein.
It is a RACIAL. SLUR. If you are not Rromani, do NOT use it. It’s really that simple. We travel because we are forced to. Not because we want to. Many live in forced poverty. If you are not a member of our race, STOP USING A SLUR THAT IS DIRECTED AT US.
