You ever wonder how the modern image of vampires would differ if Bram Stoker had randomly picked a completely different noble rank for Dracula?
Baron Dracula?
Viscount Dracula?
Marquis Dracula?
Or, how about anglicizing it into Earl Dracula? Fun fact: the abundance of evil counts in Gothic literature is 100% due to the foreignness of the title, because aristocracy is fine only as long as it’s our aristocracy. All foreign nobles are by definition decadent, degenerate, dissolute, and various other words starting with the letter d.
I’m sorry, but when I saw the phrase “Earl Dracula”, I had a sudden, vivid mental image of an AU where the Count gets staked, his curse gets automatically passed down the bloodline agnatic-style, and it turns out that the last scion of the house of Dracul is a NASCAR-watching, plaid-flannel-wearing good ol’ boy, who suddenly finds himself appointed the new Lord of Darkness.
See but this gives me an excellent mental picture of a musical montage of a Buffy-expy character hunting him down to the Dixie Chick’s seminal classic “Goodbye Earl”, and that is just wonderful.
Hell, if you’re gonna go that route, why not lift the plot from the song wholesale? The vampire hunter is the newly dubbed Count Earl’s ex-wife, and she teams up with her old highschool friend to take him down - just a couple of thirtysomething Southern gals against the vampire menace.
(For bonus points, have them hook up at the end like the song implies - everything’s better with lesbians, right?)
Icon by @ThatSpookyAgent. Call me Tir or Julian. 37. He/They. Queer. Twitter: @tirlaeyn. ao3: tirlaeyn. BlueSky: tirlaeyn. 18+ Only. Star Trek. The X-Files. Sandman. IwtV. OMFD. Definitionless in this Strict Atmosphere.
a ferocious beast
September 26th is National Voter Registration Day.
For many states, it’s the last day you can register to vote on the upcoming November local ballots.
Voting local is voting for issues that impact you directly—quality of roads and public transportation, education for the next generation of voters, parks, public safety, minimum wage laws, local healthcare access, and so very much more.
Don’t let this deadline slip by. Millions of Americans were unregistered for last year’s presidential election. Millions of voices went unheard. We can’t let that happen again.
Missed it last year? Register. Changed your name or moved in the past year? Update your registration. Completely prepared and feeling good? Great. Now tell a friend to register.
This is how we take care of each other, Tumblr. This is how we start to change what needs to be changed. Get ready to vote.
- me: *gets jumpscared by a toaster*
I wore a flannel shirt to work the other day and a guy I didn’t know was like “hey nice flannel” and without even thinking I casually said “thanks I’m gay” and he laughed so hard he had to sit down.
