Icon by @ThatSpookyAgent. Call me Tir or Julian. 37. He/They. Queer. Twitter: @tirlaeyn. ao3: tirlaeyn. BlueSky: tirlaeyn. 18+ Only. Star Trek. The X-Files. Sandman. IwtV. OMFD. Definitionless in this Strict Atmosphere.
so this has been bouncing around my head for a while and I’m still not sure if this is the best way to phrase it, but…
making opportunities for everyone to explore their gender and orientation means nothing if it’s not safe for people to be wrong about their gender and orientation. otherwise, “exploring your identity” becomes limited to “confirming what you were already pretty sure of,” which isn’t going to do anything for anyone who isn’t already at that stage.
like, time and again i’ve seen people questioning whether they’re allowed to use certain pronouns or labels if they’re still questioning those identities or if they need to wait until they’re more sure of the label. or people being worried that changes in how they identify and the language they use to describe themselves will validate stereotypes.
and this is the result of a culture where choosing an identity label that ends up being wrong is far worse than never exploring your identity in the first place. it’s the same reason people freak out about trans kids, because what if they decide they aren’t trans after all in the future? it’s also why i’ve run into multiple callouts on this site that include things like “10 years ago they called themself a ‘lesbian with an exception’ for a couple of months,” because trying to reconcile old identities with new experiences is seen as a threat.
and in the end, the people this attitude ends up punishing are folks who are targeted by cissexism and/or heterosexism, but are lacking some of the language or the experiences or even the community that would allow them to express how those systems impact them.
if an archaeologist says an artifact was probably for “ritual purposes” it means “i have no fuckin clue”
but if they say it was for “fertility rituals” they mean “i know exactly what it was for but i dont want to say ‘ancient dildo’”
Back in the day I worked at a certain very famous and very high caste art museum in the US as a junior curator. Part of my job was to catalog the objects in the museum database. This includes details like provenance, measurements, and a visual description of what the object looked like.
Like I said, the museum was a pretty snotty institution. It’s got a LOT of objects it’s way famous for possessing, but nobody knew about the absolutely massive collection of Moche erotic pottery it had because the curators were totally embarrassed by this stuff.
Some examples:
Pretty hot shit, right? They never, ever put any of this stuff on public view or published it in any catalogues but - we legit had like several hundred pieces of Moche ceramics in the “dirty pots” category. Anyway, I was left alone to just do my job with regard to the database for several years, ok? And I figured, well, these’re accessioned objects in the museum’s collection - better get down to bidness.
I catalogued every goddamn bestiality, necrophiliac, cocksucking, buttfucking, detached penis, and giant vulva drinking cup in that collection. I’d be like,
A drinking vessel in form of a standing man wearing a tunic and cap. He holds an oversized erection in his hands and stares into the distance (note I did not say “like he’s hella-constipated”). The vessel has a hole at both the tip of the penis as well as around the rim of the figure’s head, thus forcing the drinker to drink only from the penis or risk spilling wine all over themselves from the top of the vessel. Red and orange slip covers the surface of the piece.
Pretty straightforward, right? Apparently the deep seated fear of these objects that the curators exhibited was meant to spread to me as well, but - no one ever gave me that memo, because I guess Midwesterners reproduce asexually. When the curators understood that I had catalogued all of these objects in addition to the other, non-sexy pieces in the collection, they were apparently livid, but knew they had no legs to stand on in terms of getting pissed at me for it.
I visited the museum’s online public access database a few years back and - every single description I wrote of these pieces has been totally neutered to say something like Male figural vase.
Long story short? Just call a dildo a fucking dildo. It’s all gonna be ok, I swear.
This is absolutely the MOST unusual reblog I have ever tagged with what is probably my second-favorite tag, “talk to me about your work.”
unpopular opinion but people try to cover up the fact that many 18th century white women, while not having the same power as their husbands, were still awful racists. they’re constantly portrayed as being “’ benevolent masters ”’ who took pity on the people they were keeping enslaved and were the exact opposite to their emotionless husbands, and it just isn’t true. white women participated in vile treatment and the oppression of black men and women just as much as men did. and by calling them ‘pure babies who could do no wrong’, etc, it isn’t helping get rid of the stereotype either.
to quote directly from Olivia A Cole’s blog when she was discussing the issue:
“But white women whipped black bodies. They burned them. They posed next to the murdered bodies of black people who were lynched. They called people n*ggers. They scratched faces. They separated families. While wearing their pretty dresses, they ruined lives.”
The Founding mothers are perfect examples of this.
Martha Washington is this feisty broad who took care of herself while always being there for her powerful hubby, right? Well, yeah. She also had no desire to release her own slaves, gave young women as WEDDING GIFTS, & only released her husbands slaves early because she was afraid someone would assassinate her to get freed early, in accordance with George’s will.
& Dolley Madison was the charismatic first lady who lit up rooms with her decadent outfits & strong, extroverted personality, getting even her reclusive hubby to join in on the fun, right? Well, yes. She was also the one slaves FEARED at Montpelier, to the point where a hired chef caught some of the slaves stealing food & threatened to tell Mr. Madison. They laughed, until he threatened to tell DOLLEY.
Women could be as bad as their husbands.
Women could be WORSE than their husbands.
& frankly, if you don’t believe they had the agency to be horrible, horrible racists, you’re playing into their husband’s belief that they didn’t have agency at all.
lawful halloween: buys tons of candy for the kids, drinks pumpkin spice lattes, cute autumn aesthetics, knows every line to hocus pocus
true halloween: watches nothing but horror movies, reblogs all the halloween posts, has more than one costume planned, doesn’t give a fuck about the candy
chaotic halloween: lights a pile of ouija boards on fire, WE DID THE MA ASH WA E DI D THE MOSNT ERH MASH,tHe mOnSTER maSH, IT WAS A GRAVEYA R D S MA SH!! !
