Icon by @ThatSpookyAgent. Call me Tir or Julian. 37. He/They. Queer. Twitter: @tirlaeyn. ao3: tirlaeyn. BlueSky: tirlaeyn. 18+ Only. Star Trek. The X-Files. Sandman. IwtV. OMFD. Definitionless in this Strict Atmosphere.
This statement is taken so lightly. For one women don’t believe they can be abusive and the view of society on men prohibits the fact that a woman could successfully mentally, physically and emotionally abuse a man.
Related: I recently learned (according to 2013 stats from US Dept of Health and Human Services) that a startling 40% of child abuse cases is by mothers acting alone, compared to 20% for fathers acting alone. Keep in mind women are more likely to be a child’s primary caretaker. Discussions surrounding women as abusers really aren’t taken with complete seriousness.
Dale Hansen is a fucking treasure. He admitted he was a childhood victim of sexual abuse in the hopes that it would encourage others to come forward and seek help. He has been an ardent supporter of scholar-athletes and of gay players in the NFL and of trans athletes.
“I’m not always comfortable when a man tells me he is gay; I don’t understand his world. But I do understand that he is part of mine.”
One difficulty of getting older is that I realize just how shitty I was to certain people when I was younger–despite often having the best intentions. Just, I allowed my own lack of emotional maturity and undiagnosed autism and mental illness in combination with attitudes absorbed via osmosis while growing up in a significantly different time to negatively affect my relationships. I didn’t understand certain boundaries and social conventions, and I’m kind of appalled at my behavior in some of my relationships–in some cases relationships I never should have entered into, and wouldn’t have, had I been more aware and awake.
I think a lot of people in my age group have simply decided, “I am who I am, and I’m not changing, because that would require admitting that in all these decades, I still have not become the perfect me.”
And that’s a tempting attitude, but it’s a shitty one. As growing beings, we need to be open to new information. Sometimes that information leads to uncomfortable realizations about ourselves.
But you know, it’s better to admit to a flaw, or an illness, or whatever, because then you can treat it. Anything else is just destructive to yourself, and often to those around you.
