Icon by @ThatSpookyAgent. Call me Tir or Julian. 37. He/They. Queer. Twitter: @tirlaeyn. ao3: tirlaeyn. 18+ Only. Star Trek. The X-Files. Sandman. IwtV. OMFD. Definitionless in this Strict Atmosphere.
Unknown, Cat astride another cat late Qing Dynasty
Anonymous:
So, today I (trans asexual gay and autistic boy) got asked out by the very pretty boy(gay) across the street. How/ Why did this happen? I screamed really loud when I accidentally saw him shirtless.
This happened over like a month.
Basically, I have my desk at a window because I love sunlight and I coincidentally can see a bit into his window. I don't usually look in there because that would be creepy and my family also has a really pretty garden so I have more important things to be looking at.
Anyway, the one time I look up and my eyes look into his room, my dude is TAKING OFF HIS SHIRT and what am I supposed to do? I don't know so I scream "I CAN SEE YOU CHANGING, I'M SO SORRY!" and I duck under my desk. After like five minutes, I peek up over the desk. HES STILL THERE WITHOUT A SHIRT. Now he's also staring up at my window and my very embarrassed face and hes chuckling at me and I just decide to go back to drawing (what I do at my desk). Next time I look up, he's wearing a shirt and waving at me so I wave back. Then he leaves me be.
The next time I'm outside in the garden, chilling with the cats (I love cats), I hear him call out like a "Hey!" so I say "Hey" back and I don't really remember most of our conversation because I was really nervous for some reason. He did think my name was cool, and I did the classic "thanks I choose it myself" but I stutter over my words and he calls me cute or something. In the end, he gets my number.
We start hanging out, mostly bringing each others friends along. We do that for a few weeks until we hang out on our for once. I go to his house, we hang out in his room with the door open (his mom made that very clear). We talk about our interests (he likes sports and fashion) and he gets me going about my special interest, mallards (ducks if you don't know) and other waterfowl. I get self conscious at some point and stop talking, but he scoots closer and says he likes to listen to me talk and he thinks my voice is very nice (I voice train so i very much sound like a boy from my age group). I tell him I like his voice.
Next thing I know, he kisses me.
KISSES ME.
KISSES ME.
Somehow, about ten minutes later I'm back at home. According to him, I stood up and said "I HAVE TO GO HOME, IT'S LATE" and I scampered off. It was 4:30 pm.
The next day, hes at the door asking for me. He has flowers, my favorites to be specific, and A CHOCOLATE DUCK. A CHOCOLATE DUCK. (It was like cartoon duck. Think rubber duckie.)
He asks me out. I say yes. I take the flowers and the chocolate duck. I close the door. I scream.
Me and the boy I pulled by being autistic I guess? (does this meme work in this situation?)
Anyways, now I have date in like two days and what should I do? What do you do on dates? Hold hands? Give gifts? Can I talk about ducks on dates? (I'm already researching about what he likes so I can make conversation about it.) What should wear? I DON'T KNOW! Help?
my only ex was also autistic, so i would say it’s totally appropriate to talk about ducks, but make sure you talk about other stuff. ask about how his week was, his work, his interests, and ask questions and be engaged with that. i always had fun holding hands on dates, and usually you can kiss people goodbye but i’ve never actually done that. dating was weird for me so i am not the best at advice, but this guy sounds like a real catch and this is a really sweet story, something out of a book really.
The affected raspberries have a best-before date of Aug. 15, 2024, and the Antioxidant Blend’s best-before date is Oct. 11, 2023. The frozen fruit was distributed throughout Quebec, Ontario, Newfoundland and Labrador, Nova Scotia, and New Brunswick.
There have been reports of illnesses linked to the fruit, and the CFIA is conducting a food safety investigation, which may lead to the recall of other products. If you have the recalled product on hand, Health Canada says to not consume, use, sell, serve, or distribute it. […]
Daughter of fantasy villains decides to rebel against her parents by actually going through with her arranged marriage to a local golden retriever of a prince instead of running off with some local villain-to-be or conquering said golden retriever’s kingdom and ruling it solo like her parents expect her to. Plus, sue her, she’s into the clean-cut earnest look.
At the same time, local prince charming discovers that he’s actually very into the gothic fiance his parents have landed him with in order to try and establish peace with the local evil lair down the lane, he would never have guessed a spiderweb pattern could look so fetching on a ball gown…?
Meanwhile, two pairs of parents in a tizzy because they both expected their offspring to whole-heartedly reject this union and give them an excuse to conquer their goody-two-shoes/evil neighbours, they’re not supposed to actually like each other-!
respective friend groups undergoing culture clash like all of prince charming’s knights are like what vile spell has been used to ensorcel our prince. we must be on our guard for surely this is but a ruse for an assassination attempt
meanwhile the villain bride’s friends are all like clearly he loves you not, why do you persist in a manner that will ensure your own heart break, i mean if he was taking this seriously there would be at least three assassination attempts by now. it’s like he doesn’t even notice that you have massive amounts of dark power to covet for his own
smashcut to
fully armored knight, clanging through the hallways in attempts at stealth, blades drawn: i’m just saying, i took an oath of protection. this feels wrong.
prince charming: it’s not wrong, it’s celebrating cross cultural traditions for my beloved bride
knight: it’s attempted murder
prince charming: it’s a loving attempted murder
@chucktaylorupset Meanwhile the bride has a bouquet of roses, cornflowers, and wheat sheaves on her desk in her room, and she’s not coming out until she’s written a beautiful and moving poem about how they favourably compare to her groom. It’s been three days. She’s gone through an entire raven’s worth of quills (unethically sourced). The ‘toads who used to be my friends’ list has gone up by one. But she’s bent dark forces and eldritch spirits to her will and, by the powers obscene, this will not be the thing that breaks her.
Sorceress friend: Please, just get him an amulet that will double his power at the cost of his soul, no one’s worth this.
Rebellious villainess: (nearly in tears) No, he brought his best knights to the castle and tried to kill me last week, at midnight, I can’t ignore something like that! He even kicked Cathulhu!
Sorceress friend: He nudged it with his foot. And then he apologized to it. In tears.
Rebellious villainess: (actually in tears now, for reasons of feels instead of poetic torment) He’s trying so hard!!!
ALT