Icon by @ThatSpookyAgent. Call me Tir or Julian. 37. He/They. Queer. Twitter: @tirlaeyn. ao3: tirlaeyn. 18+ Only. Star Trek. The X-Files. Sandman. IwtV. OMFD. Definitionless in this Strict Atmosphere.
this actually reminds me of when i was in second grade and it was snack time but we had been misbehaving so they gave us assigned seats on the rug and i had to sit next to this girl who’s snack was mangoes but i didn’t like her because she bullied me so i told the teacher that i was allergic to mangoes and i couldn’t sit next to her and my teacher was like “oh it doesn’t say anything about any food allergies on this paper right here you might have to update the school nurse on that” so i went to the school nurses office and she called my mom and my mom was like (and i genuinely have no idea why) but my mom was like “yeah sure she’s allergic to mangoes” so then the school had on paper that i was allergic to mangoes so at this point i was like in wayyy to deep so i just pretended to be allergic to mangoes for the next 5 years like i went full throttle into this lie i even came up with a backstory to explain how i found out i was allergic to mangoes it got to the point where even my parents just genuinely believed i was allergic to mangoes until one day when i was 12 i just came clean and explained the story to my parents and they where like “yeah that sounds like something you’d do” but anyway i never got to enjoy my new found mango freedom until about a year later when i was over at my friends house and they had mangoes and i was like “actually i haven’t had a mango in 6 years” and they where like “omg they’re so good you have to try some” so i did and they were sooooo good like i look exactly like the picture above i was gobbleing that shit up like cookie monster it was insane and anyway basically 20 minutes later i broke out in hives.
I’ve read a lot of Ed/Stede first-time/early times fics where Stede is super nervous/hesitant/naive, not knowing what to do or even what the possible options are and like, I get where that characterization comes from. And I’ve read fics where Stede is like, magically great at sex and I very much get the appeal of that specific fantasy as well. But neither of these seem to quite hit the mark for me because I think one of the things that defines Stede in his Stede-ness is that he’s a fucking lunatic who usually doesn’t know what he is doing and has never once let that stop him.
This is a man who charges headfirst into things he’s excited about, fueled by nothing but improbable confidence and commitment to the bit. He can be quite bold under the right circumstances (thinking about that post I can’t find right now about how he is actually being very forward in the moonlight scene, even if he’s not flirting intentionally) and he is just an absolute nerd (affectionate) about the things he enjoys and that’s one of the things Ed likes about him.
So what I’m saying is “Stede who is not exactly good at any particular act involved but is fucking thrilled at the novelty of being desired and is being a massive, adorable dork about it” + “Ed who actually does have some experience but is too busy being flattened by a wave of tender, attentive intimacy of the sort he’s never experienced before to do anything about it” = some kind of chaotic gay sex feedback loop where no one involved is particularly suave or dignified about anything and that’s exactly what makes it so fucking hot.
ALT
