Icon by @ThatSpookyAgent. Call me Tir or Julian. 37. He/They. Queer. Twitter: @tirlaeyn. ao3: tirlaeyn. 18+ Only. Star Trek. The X-Files. Sandman. IwtV. OMFD. Definitionless in this Strict Atmosphere.
[ID: A tweet that reads āFor my trans friends on testosterone, go check your lot number, thereās been a recall due to bacterial contamination.ā The tweet includes a link to the news source detailing the recall and a screenshot from that source. The link to the news article is:
uh. so. the city on the edge of forever is kinda. real fuckinā gay.
so. theyāre orbiting this planet. and they run into some unexpected turbulence and mccoy stabs himself with a whole fucking lot of some chemical used to restart peopleās hearts. as a result, he develops godly amounts of paranoia and becomes walking foreshadowing.
he beams down to the planet, hides behind some rocks when they try to find him and leaps into a time portal to the great depression.
this royally fucks up all known reality, so obviously kirk and spock have to go and find him.
they jump through and spock immediately starts getting stares for his ears, which makes him adorably self conscious (he does this little head scratch move to hide them for a moment that i unfortunately didnāt get a screenshot of). kirk decides the best move is theivery, scales a fire escape and nicks them some clothes, sliding down just in time to get caught by a policeman.
he attempts to explain, spock by, uh, claiming that heās chinese. gets stuck on the ears.
not to worry, spock jumps in with āperhaps they were a result of my unfortunate accident as a child.ā
'ohā¦ yesā¦ you see, he had a run in with a. mechanical. rice? picker? and um. a nearby missionary, who was also aā¦ plastic surgeon, yeah, saved his life.ā
policeman donāt buy it, but they pull the classic 'you distract him so i can knock him outā move and bolt.
this is where we meet edith keeler, head of the local mission, runner of the soup kitchen, all around wonderful lady.
she gives the two of them jobs and finds them lodging with very few questions, so now kirk and spock are temporarily roommates!
'honey, iām home! i brought you some lettuce!ā
they have a little loversā spat professional argument, but itās okay because they make up afterwards
spock is displeased with the quality of science equipment he has to work with.
'why mr spock, whatās wrong?ā
'i am attempting, ms keeler, to construct and impossible device out of stone knives and bearskins.ā
āspock! donāt tell her that.ā
edith catches them stealing and demands to know what the hell they think theyāre doing, so kirk vouches for spockās virtue, but now, edith wants to know where theyāre actually from.
'where do you think we belong?ā
'you? you belong at his side, like youāve always been there and always will be, mr spockā (i cannot believe they aired this line. what the fuck, ma'am. thatās like. so fucking gay.)
'why does spock call you babygirl captain?ā
'uh. well. let me tell you about this awesome alien book i read once!ā
'oh, hey, look! itās mccoy! and heās not doing so hot!ā
'hospitals. they still have needles. and sutures!ā *faints*
local man has stolen future technology, potentially vaporizes himself. iām sure this can have absolutely no negative repercussions whatsoever.
you canāt see it very well, but spock came into the kitchen just as edith left with mccoy. this is comedy gold.
Quark and Odo start dating. Over time Odoās ears become way better structured. Quark never shuts up about all Odo needed was some hands on experience. No one likes Quark. The end.
I admire this fandomās dedication to producing The Worst Fucking Thing Possible at least twice a month
I wish I was kidding but I have a mental list of star trek doctors ranked by how much I’d hate corresponding with them about their research
ranking of star trek doctors (in series that I have seen) from best to worst bc @diesoonandsuffer requested that I elaborate:
1. bashir. younger researchers usually do fine at navigating the manuscript submission system on their own and are typically polite if they need to ask questions. bonus points for having a speciality in pediatrics bc they also tend to be way more pleasant to correspond with.
2. crusher. as with julian, I probably wouldn’t hear from her because she would rather figure as much out as she could on her own. if she did have to contact me about a system error or something, she wouldn’t necessarily be wildly personable in her correspondence just bc she’s got shit to do but it wouldn’t be an unpleasant encounter.
3. pulaski. there’s a specific type that come across as really brusque in initial emails to the point that im a little nervous that things will escalate, but the moment I get back to them with helpful information they’re very nice, and I think that would be her. not a peak encounter but there’s definitely worse.
4. mccoy. would not know how to work the submission system. would be furious about having to do it at all. would probably make me cry or at least have to get up and walk around the house seething. one time I had a dream about medical professionals that were mad at me breaking into my house and I think this would happen with mccoy. he might be nice over the phone if I sounded stressed enough but we’d have to get to that point first.
EMH: would think he’s being perfectly polite but would spend ten minutes bragging about his research while being extremely condescending without even noticing it. Might awkwardly apologise if pointed out to him.
