shutupmerlin:

My boss doesn’t take me seriously because I’m the youngest in the office by a decade and spend most of my time making his life hell (unrelated problems).

Yesterday he asked me to help him with a problem with a program we use but wasn’t actually listening to me when I tried to help, so it wasn’t working. He asked who the expert on this program was in our office and I told him it was me. He asked who the expert was within the organisation and I told him it was me. He sent me out of his office saying he would call IT to fix it. So I very patiently went back to my desk, where my phone rang a minute later, with IT asking me to help someone who had a problem with the program.

The sheer unadulterated joy I felt making direct eye contact with my manager through the glass wall of his office whilst I answered his phone call will fuel me for WEEKS.

wanderingwriter87:

you ever just,,,,

chaumas-deactivated20230115:

reffitt-blog1:

chaumas-deactivated20230115:

realquickwhatshouldwecallyu:

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its-gremlin-time:

chaumas-deactivated20230115:

professionalchaoticdumbass:

chaumas-deactivated20230115:

deathsmallcaps:

chaumas-deactivated20230115:

chaumas-deactivated20230115:

eilooxara:

chaumas-deactivated20230115:

When I am emperor, I will make everyone who refers to women’s leg hair removal as “basic hygiene” fight to the death in my coliseum.

finally it will be understood that I am doing it not for hygiene but for slut reasons

sluts are welcome in my empire, be they hairy or smooth

Confused, but cautiously willing to welcome these slippery people into my empire so long as I can put down some plastic drop clothes over the couches before they sit down, and provided they do not become evangelical or moralizing about their thigh slime. (Why stop at thighs? Why not emulate the valiant eel and opt for a full mucusoid coat?)

This probably refers to people whose thighs touch and chafe when they’re wearing shorts or skirts

Aww, and here I was planning an imperial holiday called Slime Fest, with mandatory public slimings.

Very well, anti-chafing measures are permissible. I want my subjects to be comfortable (when they are not fighting to the death obviously).

your highness can we still have slime fest?

*imperial majesty thx

Imperial majesty, can we still have the slime fest?

hmmmmmm

no I’m too sad that the eel people don’t exist and I shall declare an Imperial Day of Sulking instead

all are welcome

The imperial Majesty Sulking

for three hours each day we will open the doors of the palace to the public so that my subjects may view their emperor sulking about the eel people from the royal observation chamber

there will be hors d'oeuvre

Imperial Majesty, bring back Slime Fest or the people shall revolt

don’t threaten me with a good time

xenobotanist:

Elim, Julian, and Kelas

From an untitled smutlet that’s almost complete:

“Well.” Elim surveyed the mess strewn across his body. “I ought to incarcerate the both of you for befouling the leader of the Cardassian Union.”

Kelas snorted. “Or you could just declare an impromptu national holiday.”

“That would save me the hassle of paperwork for the imprisonment and divorces.”

Keep reading

friendamedes:

ALT

no dessert before dinner, elim.

described in alt text.

madam-paradoxsa-deactivated2022:

ofhouseadama:

i am currently enjoying the concept of post-bombardment Cardassia having more of a winter than it ever did before and Garak bragging about the fact that he has a literal human bedwarmer with an augmented metabolism to keep him safe through impact winter

big-gay-bird:

Actually both Romulan and Vulcans are “nuerodivergent coded”

The difference is that Romulans are sensory seeking and the Vulcan are sensory avoiding.

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